I Tell a Pie-Hater Why He's Wrong

In a previous post, I discuss why cupcakes are a capricious fad founded on dishonest claims. In this article, Mr. Heller decides to take on the desert behemoth: Pie. His premise appears to be that everyone thinks everyone else does and should love Pie, and while some people do in fact make phenomenal pies, your standard pie is a sloppy mess demanding of our denigration. But a simple exercise in logic immediately disproves his claims. Consumers do not seek out things they do not like. And yet, pies are still made in sold in quantities unchanged across the decades (controlling for population growth, of course). Despite the seeming inconvenience pie is, someone is still buying and eating them. Contrast that with the fact that cupcakes are already fading from our pastry spotlight, as the deluge of cupcake this, cupcake that, cupcake van, all promising red-velvet goodness for the mere price of $4.95 has already proved to be completely delusional. Consumers have finally started to realize that "no, it is not worth half a Hamilton to eat something that tastes like a curtain and have frosting deposited on my face." On the other hand, pie remains as something completely opposite from x and y, a constant in the face of a changing world. In the words of Bobby Jay Bliss in response to his slice of apple pie topped with a slice of American cheese, "It's American."